The way to Santiago - the last bits

Over the days that went by we met more and more people. So many that at some point I felt a bit lost, as I had wanted to do this trip on my own, and felt I now had not only Esther with me at all times, but dozens of others. And I enjoyed everyone's company, but craved a bit of time for myself. For the freedom of doing what I pleased, and not what was expected.  And because I felt I just couldn't connect with myself, with my being. I felt I was pleasing others and forgetting my little person in me.

But then again: Happiness is only real when shared. Right? You can't be alone all the time and be happy.


So we met: an argy full of blisters who couldn't walk anymore and was thinking of going back; his new friend from Tenerife, who had come to meet girls; Sergi, from Barcelona, who slept with us by chance in over three hostels, who was taking some time off work and who I later learnt was a good volunteering soul to children with cancer, mainly because he wanted to give some love to children he couldn't have himself. And the list kept growing, till we eventually became a group of almost twenty staying at the same hostels, and sharing a meal and experiences of each day, every night.

When my birthday arrived we were almost 30 celebrating each. Random people cooking, and buying drinks, and setting up the huge table, and writing a big card with loads of congratulations, even from people I hardly knew. I was so happy.

It reminded me of how I love to share when I'm capable of opening up to others, to listening stories, to smiling and laughing out of ridiculous stories more often, when I let the London guard down.

And days went by....until we finally arrived.

The beautiful city of Santiago, where the apostle James ( Santiago ) is buried, in a huge cathedral, where religious people go to pray and get their miracles conceived. Because people go asking for miracles; love, healing and peace miracles.

The arrival was not met by any sort of miracle, it was not as emotional as I had expected. However I did remind myself that one my let down the expectations of how things should be and just take them as what they are.

And to be honest, life is fucking good to me.

And I cried...
And I prayed.
And I left my stones behind.